Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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