Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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