In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
