Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
