like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
