in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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