You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
