check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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