We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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