perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
