he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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