i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
