whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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