Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
