I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
