"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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