My brain says no but my pants say off.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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