You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
