hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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