Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
