theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
