you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
