Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
