Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
sex in a hospital.. check
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
