I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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