So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
