Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize