hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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