I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
