Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
