i think i have herpe
just one?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
