dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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