Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
