He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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