Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
