he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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