i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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