There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
