You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
