I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
