Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
