If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
