Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
