i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
