He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
