Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
