Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
