How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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