"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
