I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
