well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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