Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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