My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
