he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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