I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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