did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
