Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
