Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
