they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
