So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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