The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
