At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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