My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
