You just made me feel so damn special
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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