I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
