so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
