i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
