just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
