you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
